Compare and Despair

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1.
02:51
2.
02:27
3.
02:51
4.
02:18
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02:47
7.
01:20
8.
01:40
9.
02:51
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03:10
11.
03:01
12.
02:25
13.
02:26

about

credits

released January 31, 2020

Artwork by Lou Elda
Produced by Katie Von Schleicher with Julian Fader, Adam Brisbin and Nick LLobet
Mixed by Julian Fader
Additional mixing by Carlos Hernandez
Engineering by Julian Fader with Katie Von Schleicher, Nick LLobet and Adam Brisbin
Mastered by Carl Saff
All songs written by Nick LLobet
Songs performed by Nick LLobet, Julian Fader, Adam Brisbin, Katie Von Schleicher and Daniel Siles
Thanks to Ben Goldberg and Emma Buchanan

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youbet New York, New York

Ba Da Bing Records

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Track Name: Endless
my endless list of things to do just gets longer
gotta put you down
my friend my friend my friend
my suffering, goodbye to you

my hand is always on command
my choice what don’t u understand
my dude is always in red
my hand is always misled

live and learn you’re always gonna burn
in the steam it’s rising my concern
so put down all those things you have
it’s your choice if you wanna be bad

I run I run I run I run
so far away don’t know where I am
my dog my dog my dog my dog
run back to me, the memory

paper
hold it in my hand
and everything feels
so strange just like power

this land is only where I stand
meltdown in the soul of my command
my due is always in red
my wound is always well fed
Track Name: Volcano
blame it on me you’re a volcano
contact with you
isn’t everything that I want to assume

I’m slowly standing up between the walls
your bad moon says
I wanna feel good
I wanna be good
It’s always fucked up the way you called me useless

I feel a shame that I can’t contain
contact with me
isn’t everything that you want to believe

I’m just a dull card on your table pick me up
I got the yellow eyes and I’m watching you

I’m slowly standing up between the walls
your bad moon says
I wanna feel good
I wanna be good
It’s always fucked up the way you called me useless
Track Name: Bite
Wendy touched their hand on my shoulder last night
They said I did a good show then they took a bite
Now im hangin tall with blood in my cup
Its this resilience I gotta keep up

Celebrate us has it been a whole year
You know my face has shrunk since you left me here
I’m not a dud you got me workin’ alright
Im just a little sore from the shotgun bite

Im lying down feeling bad
I repel everything and it knocks me back

Don’t look at me when I chew my nails
just let me snack in peace I wanna set sail
Get outta my head you're just an anxious sound
your plans fell thru now u want me around

Im lying down feeling bad
I repel everything and it knocks me back
Track Name: Nice Try
Im half the way up and my meter is fucked but I still try still cry
My headache is thick as I sleep in your ditch
Im a healer, feeler

I wonder if I could ever be less angry
as far as I remember I am a shit talker
holding the candy of nature in my fist
I bite a chunk outta the apple like this

Don’t fall she told me as she guided my hips

Explosion of information fillin my head
On the subway there could be gunfire and it wont distract me from

Im sittin in shit all my heros been hit
It was bad land oh man
When two become one all the damage is done
Small mind, nice try

She shot me a stare and I really don’t care because
Track Name: Alligator Talk
your mouth is just a conversation to me it’s over my head
as we slip in and out of this alcohol dream

the scraps of days gone be begin to settle in my mind
and this alligator talk it leaves my face as blank as you can be
and we are living proof of the transfer

its just a matter of time before you overpower me
and rehearse your life story as I nod my fucking head at you
an absent mind is what you need

I guess its just an observation to me
The way you exchange
These words they fall out your mouth
And spill all down your sock
This alligator talk
Track Name: My Side
I’m goin out
I see u there
I’m on the street
I feel you there
I’m on my back
I knew you there
I’m on the track
I’ll sue you there

And I hail mary on through
Americas on my side
America shoots me down
America

The masterpiece is in my home and it only puts the sad on me
The enemy is in my hands and we only go down

Don’t hit me with necessary
Don’t hit me with monetary
Cuz why wait im looking at you
And I stare because I care yes I do
Track Name: Mental
mental illness it grabs you and pulls you down under
you feel so much what you cant see are the children
by the dozens they hold you and it made me feel happy
and you’re running around and you’re running in circles
and its hard to go to work its hard to speak your mind
you don’t know what to do when its hard to be alive

time it goes on and the fog lifts like a curtain all at once
you see the same person looking to place the blame
and im looking to do the same
and you’re soaking in the guilt
and I don’t know what to say
I don’t know how to say
Track Name: Glass Hill
encased in glass I hold the past to me
we will never let go here down below I believe

now the day is waking me up
I crawl back

A jungle of weeds they slither around my kitchen
Determined is he to poison the mouth I've hidden

Go on tell me now why you live
so far away on the glass hill


encased in glass I hold the past to me
here down below we will never let go I believe

go on tell me know why
you live so far away on the glass hill
Track Name: Cycle
I feel like I have zero control
Zero control
look at me just a kid like you I'm going nowhere

I always knew I would cycle my way
Right back to you

In a minute oh in a minute
I’ll be ashamed I'm not getting any younger
This is all I know when I'm under you

So get in my way
I'll take my time yea
Take my sweet time

In a minute oh in a minute
I’ll be ashamed I'm not getting any younger
This is all I know when I'm under you

I feel like I have zero control
Zero control
Track Name: Discovery
discovery make it known
anticipation rising
the thirst of wanting you to recognize
im looking for something to lift me up

residue of confusion
all across my soft skin
im ageless in the corner of your guest room
maybe I was only built to wait

face down run home cuz I made it known
the boy I love he tells the world
I cant feel this way
I just wanna run away

distress hold it in and I escalate
shot down it goes on and on and on
I wanna run away
I just wanna run away

Discovery wears me out
I know my hand escapes you
Im weightless in the corner of your guest room
Im looking for something to lift me up

I just wanna run away
Track Name: Little
little seed he comes around
I wanna make him mine
vocalize and tell us why
you think that we should try

oh no I do it again
be my friend

little me I walk around
and do the same things
rest in me the little voice
that tells me how to be

happy not me
come undone

half of my life I turn away and see the same face talk to me

little stray
head of fleas
I wanna keep u clean

come home I lock myself
inside a room for two
happy ghosts live so long
little seed rides on my song

power will never change the hour
now’s the time to run away
Track Name: Cloud
here comes austin he did something wicked again
and it happens again and he does it to me
in the moments I wait
I worry I do

your whole life you anticipated wrecking the world with your primitive excuses therefore the universe is the sinner that pulls on all of me and every you

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